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In divorce, it takes two

We've all heard the old sayings. It takes two to tango. Every relationship is a two-way street. It takes two to make a thing go right. And so on, and so on.

With all of this longstanding focus on dual responsibility, why are we so quick to assume that the person who initiated a separation, dissolution or divorce is the person to blame for the split? As most Columbus residents who have been in a long-term relationship are well aware, the responsibility for maintaining and protecting that relationship falls on both people in it, and as such, both must share the blame if it ultimately does not survive.

In a recent blog post in The Huffington Post, author and divorce coach Laura Campbell works to debunk the common myth that the divorce initiator is less conflicted or sad about the end of the marriage, and that they may even be responsible for it.

"Divorce is a significant transition that affects almost every area of an individual's life," Campbell writes. "Whether a person was the one to first utter the words, "I want a divorce," or not, the transition is equally challenging."

To support this notion, Campbell calls on the memories of her own divorce, which she initiated after nearly four years of counseling was unable to make her marriage work. In her situation, she says, she and her husband were simply not a good fit for one another, and they got married when they were too young and inexperienced to recognize that.

Both were to blame for the relationship's demise and both were distraught by it, Campbell says, regardless of the fact that she was the one who ultimately filed for divorce.

Source: Huffington Post, "Let Me Be Clear..." Laura Campbell, April 12, 2012

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